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Tootsie's: "The Rut"

By: Tootsie McGee
http://twitter.com/TootsGMcGee

I have recently return from a much needed suspension.  My editor has finally read my work and as it turns out didn’t appreciate all the shots I have been taking at people who generate our content.  The fact is simple; I didn’t get into this business to make friends.  I got in it to report how I felt on a given day. 

Actually, if I am being totally honest I do not want to be in this business at all.  The only problem is I’ve been down on my luck for the past 15 years and this is the only thing that was offered to me.  No matter how hard I try I just can not break out.  Just like a dog with a toy it keeps coming back to me and back to me no matter how far I throw it.

Don’t get me wrong.  I casually enjoy following sports but it is the living and breathing it that I have the problem with.  I guess it’s more of the routine that gets me.  Every time I feel like I’m in a routine I have to stop it immediately.  There is just something so mundane about having a routine.

That’s why it is such a problem for me that I just can’t shake this profession.  Why won’t it let me be?  It truly is the worst destiny of all time.  The only bright side is that it is July 4th weekend and I will be able to drink and smoke my problems away.

So, I’ve decided to shake things up and travel this weekend.  I am going to live this weekend as if it is one long movie trailer.  Thus adding a little spice and hopefully some sugar to my life.  A life that is now aptly labeled, “The Rut.”

I vow that this weekend I won’t be a sports reporter/blogger; I will be whatever I want to be at the given moment in time.  I plan on lying so much I won’t even remember who I am.  My goal will be to lie to so many women that I will turn into OJ and believe my lies and therefore I will no longer be associated with anything resembling sports.

After all temporary and immediate satisfaction is the only way to go. 

I will brave the open frontier that we now call Washington, DC.  No monument, women, museum or bar is safe.  For Tootsie is coming to lay claim to what is rightfully his and as he searches for joy, happiness and riches he will take notes of his journey and come back and share it with all of you.
 
“The Rut” will be the most epic and moving story of all time.  And simply put; the most important work of your generation.  The sure to be Nobel Prize nominee will be available for viewing here on Monday the 6th.   I hope you’re ready world.